Friday Film Fest

Calder's Birthday was a rousing success. They had the lights down and sang to him when he got to day care in the morning and the teachers and directors even got him a present. I tell you, this kid is beloved. It's somewhat insane. Calder had his one year checkup on Wednesday and most everything was normal. He is now 30 inches and 22.5 lbs which puts him right in the 50th percentile for both. It's odd. 50th percentile is perfectly average yet I still feel like we're doing something wrong. Calder should be bigger and stronger than all the other kids right?

Aside from the stats and shots, Calder had so much ear wax that Dr. Merens cleaned his ears out and prescribed some antibiotics. He may have another ear infection but she couldn't tell since it was so damn gross in there. Eeeeeeewwwwwww.

And now for a special snow day Friday Film Fest, proof that my husband does not love me.



Neither does his family. Thanks Grandma T.!

Happy Birthday Calder!

Happy Birthday to the sweetest little boy in the world. It's been one whole year since Calder came and made my life awesome.

Par-Taaaaaaay!

Even though it's not officially until Thursday, we had a birthday party for Calder tonight with some of our friends. It went really well until Elby felt he had to pee all over the dining room floor.

At first Calder was pretty wary of his cake.

He did enjoy the plastic dinosaurs that were on top.

But he kind of had to be encouraged to try the cake itself. He may have filled up earlier on Cheetos.

Although this looks encouraging, no, he still wouldn't eat the damn cake.

More chewing on his fork.

Squishing was fun though.

Ahhhh, the answer was to switch out the fork for a Cheeto. What can I say, Calder really, really likes Cheetos.

Then there was a quick dip in the tub before present opening time.

There is a party in Calder's tummy. The cake was not invited. Those Cheetos are coddamn exclusive little mofos.

Calder did eventually get the hang of taking the paper off the gifts. Eventually.

Daddy either really loves Calder or else he really hates Mommy because Calder got a drum set.

Eff this thing. I doubt those last two wheels will ever get put on. Why? Because there were only three washers in the packaging.

Thanks to everyone who came and who gave Calder a present. He was having a rad old time long after Elby busted up the party and everyone left. You can all come and take it back sometime this week. Tomorrow if it makes noise.

For the Record

Taking a some number under 9 months old child to 8 baseball games is way, way easier than taking one nearly one-year-old to ONE friggin' hockey game. Once again, it's a good thing Calder is cute because it prevents those around us from having us thrown out of whatever venue in which he currently happens to be causing a ruckus.

Soooo, What's New with You?

So, it’s been a while, huh? I was going to post last night but decided it would be best for all involved to go to bed at 9:30. It worked out well since I had to wake up and listen to Calder cry in his crib at 12:30.

A lot of things have happened around Chicago and Leah-land since I last bothered to post.

There was this
And then this
And also, most importantly, this!

How fun, another cousin for Calder to only visit once or twice a year! And let me just answer your inevitable question now: No, this does not mean that I will be having another kid any time soon. My sister and I are not in any kind or procreational competition. Let me just say though, that if we were, I would totally kick her ass. Just so you know. Another reason why this will not be happening is because I kind of like being skinny. Ok fine, skinny-ish. Shut the hell up. I don’t judge you.

In order for me to agree to get knocked up again, several stars would need to align themselevs. Mainly:

1.We’d need to win the lottery because babies are damn expensive.
2.Bruce would need to be around once in a while because taking care of one difficult child by myself is hard enough. Doing it for two would likely drive me to an absinthe induced madness.
3.Bruce would need to be around one in a while because getting knocked up is very difficult if half of your DNA contributors are busy at the rink ALL THE DAMN TIME. Although I suppose his being on the ice is a good thing for preserving our chances of having more kinds in the future right? Isn’t icing down the man business a good way to keep the baby batter healthy? I learned that from watching King of the Hill.

So no, no new little Turps any time soon. Child #2 will have to wait. Child #1 is hard enough to raise. As it is, Calder is sick. Again. I think that makes the eleventybillionth time that he has been sick this year. Of course, as usual, this illness is within days of an actual scheduled doctor appointment so we get to play the “Is he too sick to wait 5 days?” game. Right now he is feverish, congested and coughing. Although just saying he’s congested doesn’t really do justice to the poor kid’s condition. I would say his wheezing and hacking in on par with your average emphysemic bingo lady. As it stands we are just gonna wait it out. Hopefully the Motrin and Tylenol will hold out that long.

I really do hope he starts to feel better soon and not just because I would like to get some sleep for once. The family has a really busy social schedule in the next few days. We are scheduled to go to a Blackhawks game on Wednesday, get drunk on the company dime on Friday, attend Friend Gavin’s 1st birthday party on Saturday and then host Calder’s 1st birthday party on Sunday. Well maybe the second one is just for me but you get the idea.

Holiday Cheer

Not really. Calder is teething again. Canines and molars maybe. And of course he has the attendant bad attitude and red ass. The past week or so Calder has been consistently waking up in the 3-4 am region screaming like hell with a really sore bottom. Poop wrangling when you are half awake is no fun. Neither is returning to his room a billion times to calm down his hysterical screaming after finally (you think) putting him to bed at last. Neither is waking up at 7 to play after already having entertained him post diaper change from 3:30 to 5. Neither is having a bottle chucked at the bridge of your nose while you are trying to lay in bed half-sleeping while he climbs all over you.

The thing is, I have been dealing with the bulk of this alone. Every holiday weekend, whether I like it or not, means hockey tournament. Just because this one was only in the suburbs doesn't mean squat. It's not like Bruce was around any more often to help. He may well have been in Canada for all the good it did me having him here. A guy who needs to get up and out of the house by 5:30 am is no friggin' help with a cranky baby at 2 am, especially if he takes sleeping pills. Caring for a child by yourself is exhausting and probably the most difficult thing I have ever done. I can't imagine what it's like to be in this situation permanently. Single parents may actually be superheroes.

Oh AND there was that whole random full body rash thing last week. Calder's peachyness recently knows no bounds. Let's just say that when Monday rolled around I was pretty damn stoked to be going to work and I don't care what kind of terrible mother that makes me. I am goddamn tired, yo. Right now he is wailing away in his crib again. Apparently a dose of Tylenol and 20 minutes of singing to him were not considered satisfactory. I'm back at the computer now trying to wait him out. In case Calder's will is stronger than mine, I am also looking up the words to Christmas carols because I think we are both getting pretty tired of the Little Mermaid song.