Sunday, May 31, 2009
I've said for a while now that Calder is smart. A little too smart maybe. Too clever by half even. As if to prove me right he's got a new trick - fake sleeping. He usually pulls it out when I ask him if he wants to take a nap or go to bed. He'll throw himself on the floor or across the couch, close his eyes and make snoring noises. (How does he know what snoring is? How loud is Bruce exactly? I know sure as shit it's not me.) Of course he always keeps peeking to see if I am buying it or not. It's almost always not. However it is a good indication that I can safely dump him in his crib without fearing an hour of screaming. I once even turned it against Calder by pretending to fake sleep along with him until he fell asleep for realz. It was a much better car ride after that.
The faux-snoozing is not exclusively used for avoiding his crib though. Calder also tries to use it to lure the animals into a false sense of security so he can grab them and give them kisses. They are apparently a lot dumber than I am.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
To celebrate we went to the Chicago Botanic Gardens and spent a lovely, if slightly chilly, day wandering around some of the most awesome gardens in the Greater Chicago area. (Pictures to come.) It was a super day until we got back to the car and found out we had a flat tire. A tire that would not come off the car so we had to wait for over two hours for a tow truck to show up before we could finally leave. Needless to say, dinner plans were canceled. Oh well, I've got Mexican delivery on the way and an evening full of ridiculously cheesy romantic movies on ABC family. I'd say today was a great anniversary. I can't wait for our next one. In August.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Despite the fact that the papers have stopped trying to instigate a national panic, swine flu is still around. So around, in fact, that it has reached Calder's day care. Am I concerned? Sure but the child hasn't been to the center since he/she first showed symptoms and it wasn't a kid in Calder's class or even the class next door that they always hang with so his exposure would have been minimal. Plus the school has been very on top of things since the flu became an issue, putting hand sanitizer above the key pad used to check the kids and and requiring that kids AND parents wash their hands immediately upon entering a classroom. Regardless, the first time he gets at temperature above 99 I am emailing Dr. Merens. Actually, knowing my history of contacting the office over every snot and sniffle (or at least sending really detailed emails with photographic support) she has probably been expecting to hear from us for a while now.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
One positive outcome from all of this rain is that it forced us to purchase what may be one of Calder's favorite things ever, his smiley-faced rain boots, or wellies if you will.
Calder wears these badboys constantly and it's not just because all of the coddamn rain we have. Sure, the ability to splash in puddles to his heart's content is a big gold star for the boots in his mind but being able to put them on without parental intervention is decidedly the most attractive thing the boots have going for them. Hence, he wears them around the house a lot. The clumpity stomping noise they make is no doubt just icing on th smiley-boot cake.
The second positive to the brief bouts of not-hateful weather is that we can enjoy our neighborhood in all its glory. The best part about where we live is the two miles or so of green space along the river that is just across the park from us. The river trail is good for walks, runs, biking or wagon rides. Yes, we have a wagon now. The best part is that, I swear, about every 50 yards is another playlot. Seriously, we'll be all, "Do you want to take him to the play ground?" "Which one? The pirate ship one or the train one?" "How about the one with all the animals?" It could go one forever. Plus, if there are too many kids at one slide, we can just meander on down to the next one. so if Calder wants to play, baby can play. PLUS Plus, it tires the shit out of him which is good for every one.
The swings, while enjoyable are not really his thing. When he swings back towards you, Calder grabs on and won't swing back. Concept grasp, I do not haz it.
The modern day post & platform jungle gyms (Do people say jungle gym anymore? Is that racist or something?) Are by far calder's favorite. He likes climbing the stairs and bouncing on the swinging bridges. When your motor skills still aren't the shapest, it's easy to find climbing stairs pleasurable. Unlike me who will bitch if the escalator is broken and I have to walk a half a flight of stairs down to the cafeteria in my office.
The best part of the playground is by far the slide. Calder could slide all friggin' day. He is not very good at it yet, hence the busted lip a few weeks back. That did not happen under my watch, FYI.
I'd say Calder is getting there w/r/t his sliding and all the static from the plastic slide to awesome things to his duck fluff hair. Bruce keeps threatening to get him a hair cut but I can't bring myself to do it until Calder grows some hair in the front first. I predict that in a few months my child will fully come into his Canadian ancestry by rocking a full on mullet.
Calder is my little nature boy. He likes to pick dandelions and violets and tell us what colors they are. "Lello" and "Burble" respectively. He also love, LOVES insects and has started saying "bug!" whenever he sees one. Ants are ok but the flying ones are where it's at. He'd chase them around for hours trying to catch them if he could. I have a strong feeling we will find out whether Calder is allergic to bee stings fairly quickly.
My favorite part about the nice weather and where we live is our proximity to the river. Obviously, the river is not useful for swimming or boating or anything because Chicago River=licking a pile of dirty needles that you found in a couch in the alley behind a whorehouse. BUT, despite the river's apparent noxiousness (seriously, it has its own smell) it somehow manages to support a host of wildlife, mainly water fowl. We have geese and ducks and geese and night herons and grey herons and geese and little brown water birdies that I do not know the name of and geese Ok, really what I mean is that there is a shit ton of geese and, like, five other birds. BUT! Geese means baby geese. In springs past we have counted over 20 goslings at one time. Last time we checked there was only three but there weren't that many geese around since there was a giant fucking barge in the river pulling out couches and dead bodies and whatever else managed to accure in the water over the winter months.
Fortunately for us, Calder found the barge to be twice as entertaining as a bunch of dumb birds but I feel he is going to be a mite disappointed when he never sees it again since the dead hooker sweep seemingly only happens once ever solar eclipse. Ahh, springtime in Chicago. Lovely, isn't it?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Guess what I did immediately upon waking up this morning?
Well yes, but after I peed, guess what I did.
I signed Calder up for an aquababies swim class on Saturday mornings at the hospital health club near us.
Yes, I signed up my child and, by extension, myself for goddamn swimming lessons.
This may come as a surprise to many since I am about as fond of water and bathing suits as I am of scaly dandruff and plantar warts. I mean I really don't like swimming. I was on a swim team once because my father clearly hates me. My first attempt at a 100 meter IM (you know what that is, Michael Phelps before the bong hits) found me finishing the race a full minute and a half after the last of the other swimmers. I was the only 11-year-old on the team with boobs. I am pretty sure I was the only female under 17 on the team with boobs. I was TERRIBLE. The other kids and parents were nice to me and all but even at 11 I could tell the difference between friendship and pity. I think after one season even my dad felt bad enough for me and allowed me to quit.
I am apprehensive about this aquababies nonsense for many reasons, not all of which of which are rooted in my own low self esteem and performance anxieties. Sure I don't want Calder to be permanently scarred by watching his mother flail around a pool like a dying water buffalo but I don’t even particularly like getting wet to begin with. I used to pay $20 to take a cab to and from work when it rained. I would walk around campus with an enormous garbage bag covering me like a plastic burkha when it was drizzly. I have resigned my self to showering due to harsh nature of social constructs but I frequently skip it when I know I’m not going anywhere. Dampness is my enemy and just the word moist gives me the heebie jeebies.
So yeah. Swim lessons on Saturday mornings. At least I will also be getting exercise since I am pretty sure I am not allowed to just strap Calder into a few floaties, toss him in the pool, and go outside to tan. Exercise is good and necessary and adding some kind of weekend workout to my twice weekly running is sure to help me lose the permanent swim floaty I have been wearing since December 2007. Oh that’s what I said, running. So come June my exercise regimen will consist almost entirely of two physical activities that I absolutely hate and suck at considerably. Perhaps I should add jazzercise and pole dancing to my routine later this summer. This should end well.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Where else can you get a play kitchen for $25? Thanks, Craig Newmark! And I just got a set of 150+ pieces of dishes and food for it for another $25! Thanks Mr. E. Bay!
Oh, and thanks Cary for driving my butt to Naperville to get said play kitchen. If you did not want to be driving me around to get stuff, you should perhaps not own a Volvo wagon.