At work on Friday, a woman saw me with my pump and was like, "You're still doing that? Good for you!" Then we chitchatted about our relative breastfeeding experiences and I left with an enormous feeling of awesomeness. Not because I had stuck with breastfeeding and she gad not, but just because I HAD stuck with breastfeeding. Calder was supplemented with formula from day one and didn't last long at the boob once his top and bottom teeth grew in. Boy was a biter, if you recall. And I am OK with that. I am fine with the supplementing because honestly, sometimes it felt like he never stopped screaming and the only way to get him to sleep was to get him nice and full. If peace of mind comes from a canister of formula? THAT IS COOL, INTERNET.
I also had my pumping situation working against me. Even if he was a biter, I could have just kept pumping. Except my pumping room at that time was a phone room. With no locks. And a window. Now I feel like I am living in the lap of luxury even if this fancypants Mother's Room doesn't have a TV like everyone in the company seems to imagine. I also have it all to myself now. No more coordinating schedules or feeling rushed to accommodate someone else engorged chest. And no more other people eating stinky food and having long conversations in there either. It's so much easier to get that extra ounce out when I am not wallowing in the after odors of someone else's lunch. Don't get me wrong, I like friggin' love Indian food but I am in no rush to hotbox some saag paneer.
So Wren and I are still going strong. I've mentioned before that she is not EBF, but MBF. Mostly breastfed. I still fear for my supply constantly and have very little wiggle room with it. In a pinch I will not hesitate to let her have some formula if the fridge supply is out and my boobs are otherwise engaged. How long will that last? No idea. My most basic of basic plan was to go for a year until she can have cow's milk because formula is expensive and boob juice is free. This was going on my Calder experience where he could pretty much not give one hoot where his food was coming from. The word "weening" was never even used because he just sort of seemed to not care. Whether he stopped latching or I have stopped offering, I am not even sure. With Wren? It's going to be different. I know that even if I was ready to stop breastfeeding her right now she WOULD NOT be down with that. At all. It's not like she doesn't like the bottle either. She's fine with them but she really seems to prefer her meals straight from the tap (or off her brother's plate but that's another story altogether). Even if she has JUST had a bottle, when I get home from work she'll crawl over and start making smacking noises with her mouth. As soon as I have de-jacketed and picked her up Wren will start tugging at my top and depending on the amount of cleavage I am rocking that day, I might be subjected top a vigorous motorboating. Don't google that, Mom.
So, I have about four and a half months to figure out what I am going to do. I know I could just keep on keepin' on indefinitely but I quite honestly LOATHE pumping. I hate the time that it takes and the boringness and the fact that I somehow cannot mange to make it through the day with out spilling a noticeable amount of breast milk on myself somewhere. I would quit now if I could so at one year, I will be so ready to stop. I don't even know if it's possible to keep feeding her when I am at home but stop pumping during the day. Will my boobs go on strike? Will she? Maybe they will explode? Will my bras fit again? Will I gain one hundred million pounds because I will continue to eat at breastfeeding levels?
I've changed my mind. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, INTERNET!
You start by getting rid of one feeding/pump session at a time. You might get engorged a bit but thats why you only get rid of one until your ready to get rid of another. If you want to feed her at night only, your body will adjust and get used to making milk at those times. At least thats what my research says. I am ebf but not working makes it easier. I have no clue when ill stop but I dont pump much ever so my supply is on an as needed basis.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think if I were at home I would never even worry about this stuff. There's a lot less planning involved.
ReplyDeleteoh AND. Bruce was like, why don't I take the kids to hockey with me next weekend and you can do whatever and I was all YAY until I realized that my supply would TOTALLY dry up because I would not be vigilant about pumping (ie drunk)and that would not work. He is still taking Calder so at least my life will be 90% less stressful for three days.
yeah. The breast feeding is bittersweet. I have enough (5 bags of 5 oz) frozen and im pumping about an ounce-3 extra a day if I try to use for his rice cereal and soon to be solids. I didnt feel so "full" so I started taking the fenugreek pills (2 a time 3times a day with meals) and drinking the mothers milk tea. I was never a tea drinker but I drink 2-3 a day with a tad bit sugar and I actually love it. I soent xmas eve with Logan nursing ALL night and I was up all night wondering if I would need to start formula cause I was "dried up". I started really taking the pills and tea and I dont worry about not having enough. I dont have much extra, but I am getting by still.
ReplyDeleteI went through two bottles of fenugreek and I do think it helped a little. I especially loved when Calder leaned into me one day and went, "Mmm, what you smell like? ---- I want pancakes."
ReplyDeleteI notice I produce more on the days I drink more water. Im getting better but I drink more in the summer so Im forcing myself to drink water at certain time in certain amounts.
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