MOAR ZOO PITCHURS!

And now it's my turn to show off my not even mediocre photography skills.

Calder has been begging, begging to go the Brookfield zoo for months now. A ways ago we saw an add for the Xtreme Bugs exhibit that was coming this summer. It's a bunch of those giant, animatronic bajiggers that move and make noise when people walk by, much like the dino events of the past. Ever since Calder learned such a thing existed, he has been dying to go and asking us about it approximately once a week. He calls it "the bug zoo" to differentiate it from the free Lincoln Park Zoo in the city that does not have giant bugs, I guess?

If I could read, I'd know where we are.

I tried to be super organized for our excursion. I packed snacks and juice boxes to save money. I stuffed the wagon in the car because I knew there'd be times when neither child would want to walk. I sunscreened the crap out of everyone and got out floppy hats. Too bad Calder left his in the basement right before we left and Wren's, despite her still peanut-sized head, did not fit. Also, it was hot. But whatever, giant bugs! Wild animals! Fun!

Future National Geographic photojournalist

Want to touch this spider. Keep this in mind.

Hot bug on bug action.

The Xtreme Bugs (I die a little inside every time I type this) were pretty awesome. The insects were appropriately large and unlike the past experiences with robot dinosaurs, Calder didn't run away screaming. Wren on the other hand was more than happy to give the critters a hefty does of side eye from the security of her wagon until we got to the indoor part with the real bugs that she is much more comfortable with.

Goat maintenance

Cuddling tarantulas - totally cool. Will not pet a goat.

To be fair to Wren, some of the goats appeared to be evil,

Wren was perhaps scared of petting the goats due to an earlier incident. I will let Calder tell the story as he related it to his father whilst recapping the weekend:

Wren met a cat that bited and scratched to beetect it from predadors that was gonna hurt it. That was us. 

Poor Wren got swatted by my friend's cat. In Lola's defense she has never seen a toddler before and Wren ignored repeated warnings not to touch the kitty. In fact, I was right there holding one arm back while she reached around with the other and got smacked on the arm. She had exactly one little pinprick that was immediately cured once a bandaid had been applied but seemed to be a bit wary of the goats a few hours later because of it.

Waiting for seals

There actually were seals. And sea lions. I just couldn't catch any of them.

 Did I mention it was hot out? All the animals cats were pretty much doing this:

Lion

 And this:

Clouded leopards

Or this:

Black-footed cat kitten

But once we stopped trying to make cats be interesting we got to see this:

This dolphin is a much better ball handler than me.

Will entertain for fish.

The dolphins were perhaps the beginning of the end. Wren was getting feisty while we waited for it to start and was clearly in desperate need of a nap. Calder was having a great deal of fun up until the point that he got so angry about not getting enough dolphin action shots on his camera, he laid down in the stands and refused to get up. I blame the dolphins, they are truly the assholes of the sea.

I love giraffes. That is all.

Faking it

After the dolphins, Calder wanted to see alligators. Except they are on the other side of the zoo so Calder refused to talk to us until we got there. Wren, for her, part, tried to make a nest in the wagon to sleep but never quite got there.Probably because the bottom isn't flat. Or probably because she was sharing it with a snack cooler, a juice cooler and the diaper bag. I suppose the stroller does have its advantages.

Bebeh bison.

Sprinkler fun

This child is positively indecent.

It was hot enough for the zoo to have some sprinklers set up outside the penguin house and running through the water managed to cool everyone's tempers down a bit. Calder ran in and out of the streams like there were acid but Wren just stood there directly in  in the direction of the reptile house. Except Calder spotted the Hamill Family Play Zoo and wanted to go there first. Unfortunately, the zoo was about to close so he had to decide and chose face painting and pretending to be a zookeeper over the alligators. At least I am assuming that's what he did because I used my time there to chance Wren's diaper. Twice.

Can  you smell that? I think it's cheese sticks. In my pants.

Cary made my son look like Peter Criss

They play zoo staff literally had to kick us out at closing and Calder protested all the way but as usual, he was passed out before we even made it back to the highway so the whining was short lived. Thank. God. After almost seven hours at the zoo, on my feet, in the sun, partially pulling a wagon, I probably would have been very tempted to leave him on the side of the road somewhere if he said the word alligator one more time. I think I need a month or two to recover before we try to go back and cover what was missed. Or maybe they can just watch a few episodes of Planet Earth to fill in the gaps.