Here I Am

I'm still alive. Just not writing about that life. Because it honks.

Things I have ben doing other than blogging:

• Sewing Halloween costumes: This is my first year doing two so I have been using most of my available time to make sure neither kid has to go naked for Halloween. I was under an even bigger time crunch than usual because I wanted to go trick or treat in downtown Skokie with them last Saturday. A bunch of businesses were passing out treats and they had a funhouse set up and were showing movies. It sounded fun and I wanted to go explore since we never get over to that area. Bruce woke up vomming his face off that morning so I was on my own and debated not going but I am glad we did because today Calder was horrendous in his karate class (for the second week in a row) and as a result, will not be going out to get candy tomorrow. So yay, lots of time and money spent on two pirate outfits that very few people will ever see. Woooo. If I hadn't gotten them out on Saturday I probably would have made Calder pay me back. Because I am mean. I am still going to make them dress up tomorrow so I can take pictures though. I cannot wait for that fight.
• Working: Like, actual normally gets done in an office downtown type of work. This summer I lost three of the four core people in my group and because three new people can't work as fast as three old people, my group has been running massively behind for months now. After sending one too many apology emails for out shittastic situation, I demanded my boss let me take a laptop home so I could do something, anything to make this better. It's been so bad lately that the first thing that came to mind when I began to hear how bad the recent storm was going to be was "Oh good, maybe New York won't email me for a few days." As a crap topper on the poop sundae, my one remaining old timer asked me yesterday if the street lights in my neighborhood growing up were gas powered. So I am having her killed later. Once we catch up. In which case she should expect to live a long fulfilling life.
• Stress eating/sleeping/watching stupid shit on TV: Stressed? See above. And see above that. If I don't already have a headache when I get home from work, I get one pretty quickly from having to ask Calder to stop jumping on the couch/dog/sister for the eleventy billionth time and then Wren starts bleating about not be able to reach the ipad and then I just want to lie down on the floor and quit. With wine. I have definitely been more yelly as of late and am certainly on edge all the time. I am worried about work and worried about money and worried about Calder being impossible and I just don't feel like I have the ability to be funny or interesting. Unless you think puslse-y eye twitches are amusing. I tried to come up with something for a real not-downer post and all I got was a list of You Might Be a Redneck-type of mom jokes which I think is pretty indicative of my current creative state. I still might write and publish it to show you how much I am not kidding.

So right now I am eating mini Snickers and watching people yell at each other about storage units and trying not to cry as I think about those NYU Hosptal nurses carrying NICU babies down nine flights of stairs in the dark for the million time. On the one hand, at least at am safe and sound with electricity and heat and a dry yard but on the other, compared to those men and women I am pretty much useless. Or maybe I am just really, really tired.