Christmas Time in the City

I've lived in the Chicagoland area for a decade now and yet, it wasn't until two years ago that I went to the Chicago Christkindlmarket for the first time. Which is crazy because, duh, German food, ornaments, and boots of wine. Now that I work down the street I can make up for lost time and pop over for a bratwurst and gluhwein lunch but I've never gotten the whole family down there for some wholesome Teutonic holiday fun. Until now.

I had planned to take the kids down on Sunday with my friend but when it looked likely that she would be sporting a massive hangover that day, I decided to reschedule. That is until Bruce told me he had the morning off from hockey and offered to drive us all down there. He must have felt bad for me for some reason. Or had a fever. Large crowds, long lines and spending money on Christmas decorations aren't usually his jam. Alcohol in footwear and tubed meat products apparently are. And of course a visit to Santa is right in Calder's wheelhouse. Since Wren's jam is eating all the things, I figured she'd be down regardless.

Because the apocalypse is coming, it was about 50 degrees on Sunday so the place was a madhouse. I was hoping the Bears being on would have a mitigating effect on the crowd but no such luck. Still, the line for Santa moved quickly and Calder had his catalog to keep him busy. No really, he brought a toy catalog to show Santa. Wren, on the other hand, whiled away the time by attempting to lead a toddler uprising amongst the other short members of the line. 

Presents are serious biznezz

Santa's slot machine never pays out

She's trying to eat the ornaments, just like at home

Forcing the elves to work faster

Actually meeting Santa was kind of anticlimactic. I mean, the line was long and rushed and Santa was seemingly there there for pictures only and NOT conversation so Calder was bummed. And Wren? Not interested. As soon as Bruce placed her on Santa's lap, she let out a very decisive "NAOOOO!" So Bruce got in the picture. They took that one and then invited me in for another. Of course each picture sports only one child looking normal. BUT! The best part of this Santa is that it's not a picture shakedown scam. They just give you a card to a website to check out later and then you download your pictures. FOR FREE. So now I need someone with Photoshop to do a head swap on my kids so I make a Christmas card out of it. I think this is the closest thing we've had to a family portrait, like, ever.

Climbing daddy's face to get away

Unfortunately, the long wait and the crowds put everyone on edge so after grabbing some food, we headed out. Wren was seriously overdue for a nap and Calder came dangerously close to scalding some innocent bystanders while have a meltdown over hot chocolate. I did get an ornament or two and some pork products (Dear curried sausage, marry me.) and I can always go back during my lunch hour to get my Christmas Stollen and to drool over the insanely expensive Nutcrackers. Maybe next year we will try again on a weekday or something. And maybe Wren won't hate Santa by then

Also please 'shop out that weird purse strap boob holster thing I've got going on that would be super, thx