Wordless Wednesday: Kids and Their Toys

Sometimes it's one toy that makes them happy. 

 Sometimes it's all of them.

Wordless Wednesday: Pretty Pretty

The nicest picture of a baby holding a wiimote and staring out the window evar!

I finally broke down and bought some real photo editing software. If you don't mind technophobes and can teach someone how to use Lightroom, hit me up.

Return of the Mystery Rash

That pinprick rash is back! You know, that one that eventually led to me badgering the doctor's office until it was determined that Calder had Strep? Except this time, both kids have it!









So far neither child has had anything but the rash and some sniffles but I have left Bruce with instructions to take them to the doctor immediately for a culture if either one spikes a fever. I plan to start my doctor badgering early on this one.

Wordless Wednesday: Kung Fu Hustle

Calder started martial arts classes this week. I am hoping they improve his coordination, tire him out and channel his desire to punch things.

Best in Show

I am a dork who loves dog shows. While pretty much every pet I've ever owned has been gotten "used" I still like to look at the pretty show dogs and memorize the small stable of facts that the announcers consistently use for each breed. I was sad when I found out that I had missed the first day of Westminister but we ended up catching portions of the second night. Calder watched the Sporting group with me before bed and had a few insightful gems to contribute to our dog show watching experience.

Regarding the eventual winner, a Pomeranian: That dog goes all the way down to the floor!

Concerned about the Cocker Spaniel's fancy long coat: Why is that dog wearing a dress?

After I pointed out that we know someone with Irish Setters: I want him and Chief to be friends because they match.

Upon having the different groups explained to him: Those dogs aren't toys, they move!

Little Savers Plan

It occurred to me recently that Calder is a perfectly able bodied child, so able bodied that he is capable of doing light to moderate physical tasks. Like chores. As such I determined that is was high time to put him to work around the house. Isn't that what I had kids for, so I didn't have to do all the work myself? You totally said that to your parents at least once. Oh yes, you did.

Of course getting Calder to do anything that is not directly related to the playing of Super Mario Brothers is nigh on impossible so instead of wasting my time messing around with charts and twee little stickers I cut right to the quick and offered him an allowance, $.50 a week (I am a cheap-ass woman) for keeping his toys picked up in his room, the basement and the living room; helping Bruce empty the various trashcans and just not being a Mr. Destructo in general. He also gets an extra dime for being super helpful such as entertaining his sister while I cook and helping me to pick up her messes as well.

Not only is this allowance going to be a good motivator for him we are also using it to supplement his sporadic lessons on money and math. Plus, he is excited to have an income. So far he doesn't know all that much about money. He can identify certain coins on occasion and he maybe thinks that dollars and cents are the same thing but still, it's a step up from calling everything, even credit cards, "monies".

Calder's great plan at the moment is to save up enough to buy himself another wii game. He was a little down about the whole thing when I pointed out that he only had 100 cents and not 100 dollars and he'd need another 500 quarters to supplement the four he was waving around around. Mathematical reason alone was not enough to stop him from demanding we go to Target. Calder really, REALLY loves his wii lately. Thankfully the offer of cheese and crackers and the fact that Bruce had the only car was a much better deterrent.

What Calder doesn't realize is that I have been shoving spare change into his dino bank for the last four years so this allowance is actually a step down. Muwhahahah. If Calder works hard for his allowance perhaps I will take pity on him and let him use some of the bank money to get a game in exchange for allowing me to put the rest of his savings in his real interest earning account. At least one of us should have a non-embarrassing savings account.

Nine Months

Hello, have you seen my baby? I mean, I can find the boy and I know where the cat and the dog are lurking but I seem to have misplaced my baby. I keep looking around and the only other critter I come across is this ridiculous walking toddler.

Stop it, Wren. I am not ready to give up baby status just yet. This whole walking a month earlier than your already early walking brother thing is just nonsense and I WILL NOT BE HAVING IT. The plan has always been to have two kids. Only two. You are my last baby so please stay a gaddamned baby!

Seriously, it's killing me. Wren is pretty much thisclose to be an all the time walker. And she even KICKED A BALL the other day. My daughter is gonna be an athlete y'all. Thank the powers that be. Nowadays, Wren only resorts to crawling when there is a need for extreme distance or speed. Which there is quite a bit still. There's a newly perked up cat to chase, a big brother to pester and lots and lots of shelving from which books need to be removed. Basically, Wren is never, ever still. Not even when I am trying to feed her. She actually tried to nurse while standing up. That did not end well. For me. At the most I can get her on the boob for five to ten minute bursts before she fights me off and wants to be released to the floor for some trashing of the room again. If I can't get her to eat a little nicer I may have to start pumping at home and letting her have bottles just to be able to maintain my supply.

Likes include eating. Particularly chicken, black beans, blueberries and whatever is on the floor. Her pets, especially the fish now that I have finally cleaned the tank and she can see them, dancing, throwing stuff out of her crib/pack n play, sloppy open-mouth kissing pictures of babies and animals, giving hugs on command and blowing kisses.

Dislikes are dirty butts, getting those dirty butts changed, being put in her pack n play, sitting still, being ignored by the animals, having the remote taken away and things that have been put out of reach. Oh, and teething. In the last month Wren has popped out three new teeth for a grand total of seven. All the better for her to eat all the things, but getting there is unpleasant for all of us.

Mastered Skills (most kids can do):

Stands while holding onto something - Really, Babycenter?
Jabbers or combines syllables - Yes, but other than the mamamamama there isn'y anything that sounds particularly like any real words yet.
Understands object permanence - I think so? She always seems to know where to find my phone.

Emerging Skills (half of kids can do):

Cruises while holding onto furniture - Not bothering
Drinks from a sippy cup - Yes but she never seems to finish one, I think she loses interest and isn't that into working a little for her liquids.
Eats with fingers - A little bit. She'll pincer grasp things occasionally but Wren still seems to favor the smash and mash method of feeding herself.

Bangs objects together - ALL THE DAMN TIME. SEND TYLENOL.

Advanced Skills (a few kids can do):

Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo - I haven't seen any patty caking but Wren has started to play Pee-a-boo on her own with any old bit of cloth she may find laying around whether it be her brother's blanky or his dirty underpants. Sometimes she will wait for you to say peek-a-boo first before pulling the cover away. It can be funny to make her wait with a blanket on her head. Or you know, just walk away and do something else. Mad babies are funny.
Says "mama" or "dada" to the correct parent - No, not really. I think we are still both "Mmmmah MAH!" So is Calder. And the dog. Molson gets the honor of his own name and it's "Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Testing... Testing...

Molson went in last Friday for a two week glucose check up. He was supposed to stay all day but his levels were so consistently high that they didn't bother to keep testing him. To try and lower his glucose a bit more we have to double his insulin from a wee infinitesimal drop of clear liquid to a dose that is slightly less difficult to detect with the naked eye. The good news is that he wasn't putting out ketones anymore which means his body is no longer digesting itself and he has gained a tiny bit of weight back. Molson will have to go back in another 2-3 weeks for a second round of glucose testing to see if the new dosage is the right one. I think we get to keep doing this until we get it on the nose. I am really hoping twice is enough because this is getting expensive. Sorry kiddos, no vacation this year. We spent all our money on the cat because we love him more.

I am hoping that Molson will recover from his diabetes after a few month of treatment. Did you know that? That cats can be cured of diabetes? Just another reason why they are the superior species. Humans and dogs and monkeys and stuff are all boned for life. But cats can get better because they have magic pancreases (pancreai?) and that is awesome and waaaay cheaper in the long run. Oh yeah, I want Molson to be cured because I love him and junk too and we'll keep doing this whole routine as long as necessary because this cat is going to live forever, dammit. Now if I could just stop stabbing myself with the damn needles. I would be the worst ER nurse in the history of ever. It would be all "Oh noes go get the anti-virals! Leah's given herself the HIV again!" and then I would die of several communicable diseases all at once. If ever there is an outbreak of some cat-related superbug in the human population, you'll know who to blame.

My Baby This Week

"Hello, Leah!

One day you'll walk into your baby's room and find that little person standing up, grinning at you. Many 8-month-olds are strong enough to pull themselves onto their feet and stay there by holding on to you or a piece of furniture. A somewhat comical aspect of this wonderful development is that some babies know how to get up -- but not back down again. They will stand and stand as long as they can hold on, and finally either tumble down or cry to be "rescued."

Read more about this week "

Oh, Babycenter.com, you so funny. Remember way back when I called Wren part werewolf because she had hairy ears? I was mistaken, in actuality, she's part monkey. Sorry, Babycenter, pulling up and holding on are waaaaaay in the past. Not only has the Bird mastered crawling and made her first honest steps, girlfriend has figured out climbing. She wants up on everything. Bookshelves, boxes, chairs, her brother's trampoline. Wren has even started piling all her toys together in an attempt to escape from her pack n play. She's adventurous. And crafty. And dude, she's strong. Stroooong. I saw her pick a bin full of toys off the coffee table and lower it to the ground with one hand. In a slow, controlled motion. Without even holding on to the table. She's like the agile, coordinated human being I could only hope to be.

Oh, and monkey see monkey do? She probably just copied me as I typed that. To go along with waving, clapping and "so big!" We have taught Wren to blow kisses (mostly just a very loud "mwah!" with a vaguely rude hand gesture), makes kissy/fishy faces and give hugs on command. She is really great for one's self esteem lately. Wren also loves to imitate us and our regular interactions. She'll command our attention with a loud "MAMA! Blah Blah blah blah!", pause for our reply and then pick back up with her little soliliquy. Because she already know sthat to get some attention around here, you've got to do a bit of shouting. Never one to be left behind, she follows Calder around the house and tries to horn in on whatever he's got going on. All toys are baby toys now apparently. It doesn't matter how chokeable they are. Grown up toys too it seems. She is enamored with the Tivo remote (mommy's little darling) and my sewing machine pedal. Mostly for chewing purposes, she's got a few more teeth popping through, don't you know. Wren can also manipulate a smartphone like whoa but I'm pretty sure the babies just come out like that these days.

This is amazing and all but I don't think I'm ready for it yet. Wren is very likely the last baby I am going to have, why does she have to rush into growing up so fast?

Wordless Wednesday: Art